Why Women Stay in Violent Relationships Essay -- Relationships Domesti

Why Women Stay in Violent Relationships Most women have at least one dependant who must be taken care of, many are not employed, their parents are either distant or unable or unwilling to help. She may lack the access to cash; she or the children may be in poor health, may face a decline in the living standard for herself and her children. Many older children may resent this decision. She may believe that she will be charged with desertion or losing the children and cash assets if she leaves. Some battered women have an ideology that may include: she does not believe in divorce, marriage is forever,† till death do us part†. They may believe that it is crucial to the children for them to have a mother and a father, no matter how terrible the father is, and she believes that she can put up with anything for the children’s safety. She may be emotionally dependent on the man, having never relied upon herself for the simplest decision. The abuser may have managed to isolate her from her friends and family and she therefore feels that she has no one to turn to. She may feel responsible for his behavior and try to change herself, therefore giving herself a very low self-esteem. Since abuse comes in cycles, she believes that he is basically good and this time he has changed. (23) Battered women understand that there is something wrong with men who alternately hurt them and then nurture them, though they do not know what causes this. They seem to think if they love them enough, give up enough, or submit to enough, that they will somehow be able to change the batterer's behavior. Battered women are trained to accept responsibility for the abuser's outburst. She is trained to make excuses for his imperfections; e.g. if she was a better wife he would not want to hit her. First, let’s define abuse, battering, and psychological abuse. According to West Virginia Sate Law it is defined as: The occurrence of one or more of the following acts between family members who reside together or who formerly resided together: Battering is not just physical aggression. Rather, Battering constitutes the systematic use of violence and the threat of violence in order to control, subjugate, and intimidate women. Without feat, there can be no battering. Psychological Abuse is defined as verbal degradation denial of powers, isolation monopolizing perceptions, occasional in... ... Getting Away With Murder, Raoul Felder and Barbara Victor, Simon and Schuster, New York, 1996 Intimate Abuse, Richard Gelles and Murray Strauss, Transaction Publishers, New Jersey 1990 Keeping the Faith, Guidance for Christian Women Facing Abuse, Marie M. Fortune, 1987. National Crime Center, Crime and Victimization in America, A Statistical Overview, 1995 Rape and Violence Information Center Handbook 1996. Rebecca Eritano, Counselor, Rape and Domestic Violence Information Center conversations held between 1995 and 1997. Roweena Mersing, Advocate, Rape and Domestic Violence Information Center, Conversations held between 1995 through 1997. Stop Domestic Violence, An Action Plan for Saving Lives, Lou Brown, Francios Dubac, and Merritt McKeon, J.D., St. Martin’s Griffin, New York,1997 Terrifying Love, Lenore Walker, Harper and Row, New York, 1989 The Abusive Partner, An Analysis of Domestic Battering, Maria Roy, Van Nostrand Reinhold Co. New York, 1982 Violent Relationships, Information Plus, Wylie, TX 1995 Violent Relationships, Information Plus, Wylie, TX 1997 You Can Be Free, An Easy to Read Handbook for Abused Women, Ginny NiCarthy and Sue Davidson, Seal Press, 1989